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- Restraints on sexuality: A brief list of some of the sexual and quasi-sexual practices
that are or have been considered immoral, unhealthy and / or improper in one or another
civilized society.
- Incest
- Adultery
- (Often greater restraints are placed on women than men or restraints on men are violated
more frequently in practice.)
- Bestiality
- Homosexuality
- Nudity in public places
- Nudity in private
- Nudity while having sex (in some cultures, this is considered improper.)
- Sex during the daytime
- Sex at night in the evening, while the lights are on
- Sex outdoors or in a car.
- Positions for intercourse other than some standard or usual position (which varies from
one polity and society to another.)
- Sex during menstruation
- Sex during religious festivals
- Masturbation
- Group sex
- Oral sex
- Anal sex
- Perversions of other sorts (e.g. foot fetishes, etc.)
- Sex with teachers or students
- Sex with superiors or inferiors in the workplace
- Artistic representation of condemned sexual practices
- Artistic or pornographic representation of sexuality
- How is sexuality restrained in civilization?
- Public penalties
- Public disapproval
- At one time not only adulterers, but those who were divorced, would be
- denied promotions
- shunned in public
- Criminal punishment
- Which once existed for adultery and still exists for other sexual practices
- Individual conscience
- Why must sexuality be restrained in Civilization?
- To preserve the family
- For Freud, the family is necessary to civilization
- Evolution of civilization and the family (based upon Freuds account in CD and
elsewhere)
- Tools: the first stage in development of civilization and the distinctive features of
human life.
- The use of tools encourage two further evolutionary developments:
- Large brains make it possible for human beings to:
- Develop new tools and new uses of old tools.
- Pass the use of tools from parent to child.
- Standing erect, which makes it easier for proto-humans to use to use tools.
- Difficult childbirth
- is created by both by
- Large brains which make it harder for a babys head to pass through the birth
canal.
- An upright posture, which makes the birth canal smaller.
- The evolutionary solution to this difficulty is for human beings to born at an earlier
stage of development than other mammals
- Early birth is tied to another evolutionary change: the absence of instincts (in the
sense of built-in patterns of desire and action.)
- The lack of such instincts makes it necessary for human infants to become cultured or
socialized.
- Socialization is the source of our particular desires and of our particular ways of
satisfying these desires.
- Early birth and the need for socialization creates a long period of dependence of
children upon parents.
- The long period of development makes it difficult for mothers to care for children and
protect themselves alone.
- Thus those mothers who have the support of fathers are most likely to re-produce further
children and raise their children to adulthood.
- So those individuals who are motivated to form families are most likely to reproduce.
- The motivation for individuals to create families: for Freud the motivation on the part
of mothers and fathers is different.
- Mothers desires to have the protection and support of fathers.
- Fathers desire to have frequent sex with the mother.
- This desire is only possible when women no longer become sexually only at certain
periods of time (when they are in heat).
- It is quite possible that motivations opposite to those that Freud attributes to men and
women could also have existed.
- Both fathers and mothers could be concerned about the survival of their offspring.
- Both mothers and fathers could enjoy frequent sex.
- Some controversial evolutionary accounts hold that these motivations are not found to
the same degree in both men and women.
- I am writing a critique of these theories. Check back at my website in a few to read it!
- The family is strengthened by the love of mother for father and vice versa.
- Freud holds that love is the most frequent path people choose in their search for
happiness, precisely because it combines sexual pleasure with the devotion of love.
- The family and civilization.
- In the earliest human polities and societies, the family is necessary in order to allow
children to survive.
- To some extent this remains true. Two parent families can, on average, more easily
protect and care for children.
- And two parents can more easily provide the material goods a child needs or desires.
- Although one could imagine political and social arrangements that, today, would
dramatically improve the material prospects of children in single parent families.
- The family is also necessary to the socialization of children.
- Although this task has, in part, be taken over by schools, parents still play the most
important role.
- Are two parents needed for the socialization of children?
- Perhaps they are not necessary but it is, on average, easier for two parents to
supervise children than one.
- Single parent families, especially those headed by women, might find it especially
difficult to socialize young boys. See the Freudian account of the formation of
conscience.
- Why are (some) restraints on sexuality necessary for family stability?
- Incest undermines the parents concern and care for their children.
- Pre-marital sex can lead to pregnancy and single parent families.
- Adultery (sex outside of marriage) can lead to divorce.
- Open marriage usually founders because of jealousy.
- Why do restraints on sexuality go beyond those which are most clearly necessary for the
preservation of the family? And why must these restraints take the form of public
standards of sexual morality? Freuds own arguments seem to be ambivalent about the
need for these restraints
- On the one hand, Freud suggests that, without restraint, our sexual desires are likely
to be anarchic.
- Recall he argues that the family only arises because men and women can have sex at any
time.
- He suggests that, unless we learn to moderate or control our sexual desires, we will be
very much inclined to engage in those sexual activities that threaten the family.
- Indeed, many people (and especially men) might be entirely reluctant to form families.
- This aspect of Freuds view of sexuality is reminiscent of Augustine.
- Moderation and control is learned through accepting limits on our sexual desires.
- This is why Freud argues that restraint on childhood and adolescent sexuality is
necessary.
- This view of sexuality as anarchic seems to be flow from Freuds early theory of
the instincts in which the sex drive is thought to be dominant and in need of control.
- On the other hand, Freuds evolutionary account of the family suggests that human
beings have an intrinsic desire to form families.
- Thus, on this view, additional restraints on sexuality, beyond those clearly necessary
to the creation and sustenance of the family.
- This view of sexual restraint and the family is more closely connected with Freuds
later theory of th instincts, in which the desire for sex is a product of (or is partly
sought because of) eros and, thus, is more easily controlled.
- Given this aspect of Freuds thought, we would expect more sexual fidelity and less
sexual promiscuity among humans than other mammals. This seems to be precisely what
occurs.
- NORC research suggests that only between 10-15% of women and 15-20% of men commit
adultery
- Given so many marriages breakdown50% of marriage ends in divorcethese
figures seem quite low.
- Marriages are likely to breakdown due to non-sexual as well as sexual problems.
- And given the difficulties that different sexual aims in men and women might create.
- Moreover, it is not clear that sexual desiresnarrowly construedis the main
motivation for sexual infidelity or promiscuity.
- Men and women might be promiscuous because they are in search of love or, primarily in
the case of men, recognition.
- It is not obvious, to say the least, that physical pleasure in sexual activity is more
likely with new rather than old sexual partners.
- Both arguments might be right in part.
- Most people might want to form and sustain families in the absence of politically and
socially enforced sexual restraints.
- But some people might not. Thus the survival of some families might be threatened in the
absence of politically and socially enforced sexual restraints.
- This would be dangerous, unless we could be assured that people whose sexuality was not
directed towards familial love did not reproduce.
- The two sides of Freuds thought, then, prefigures contemporary arguments about
sexual morality and the family.
- Sexual liberals argue that:
- The recent rise in divorce and single parent families do not presage a decline in the
family or in the quality of child care..
- Most divorced people remarry.
- Families so divided that divorce results are likely to create unhappy environments for
children.
- Single parent families are not the product of sexual liberalism but of
- Inadequate provision of sex education, contraceptives and abortion.
- The limited economic opportunities available to poor, young women.
- Single parent families would not be so detrimental (or detrimental at all) if they had
adequate material support, which could be provided by the government.
- Sexual conservatives argue that
- Children raised by step-parents or by single parents do not fare as well, in either
economic or moral terms, as children raised by two parents.
- The decline of politically and socially enforced norms of sexual restraint
- Is the major cause of single parent families.
- Creates some of the limited economic opportunities available to poor, young women.
- Government provided economic supports for single parent families actually encourage
their formation.
- To encourage people to work
- Work is, initially necessary for life.
- In the process of civilization, the possibility of improving the material well being
apparent.
- In hierarchical regimes, this becomes the aim of the elite, who try to wring an economic
surplus of the masses, in order to support their luxuries, or political and military
spending.
- In liberal democratic regimes, this becomes the end of practically everyone.
- Hard work requires sexual renunciation. Freud offers two arguments for this claim.
- Hard work limits the time and energy available for sex.
- Hard work requires the redirection of eros from sex to work.
- This claim seems to require the libido (plumbing) theory of energy.
- This does not seem to be a terribly plausible argument for it suggests that sublimation
is responsible for hard work.
- But Freud holds that most people are not likely to find satisfaction in sublimation.
- Most work is not of the creative and intellectual kind that can give people erotic
satisfaction.
- Hard work requires erotic renunciation with regard to the family. Again Freud makes two
arguments.
- The time and energy we spend at work requires us to spend less time at home, with our
lovers and children.
- But our non-sexual erotic desires are better satisfied at home.
- Hard work requires the redirection of eros from family to work.
- Again this requires the libido (plumbing) theory of energy.
- But, once again, it hard to believe that most people in most places and times, find much
erotic satisfaction in the awful kinds of work they have had to do.
- In either case, Freud supposes, again, that sexual renunciation must be quite general in
order to get people to accept these restraints on sexuality.
- Given our high level of material well being. why dont we work less hard now and
have sex more?
- One explanation is that we enjoy our material goods more than sex.
- Freud, at least on his earlier theory, would dispute this.
- And even on the later theory, it is hard (at least for me) to believe that erotic and
aggressive desires are directly satisfied by buying bigger and more expensive cars and
houses.
- Another explanation is our ideal image of ourselvesand the recognition from others
we need to support that imageis tied, in liberal democratic polities and societies,
to the accumulation of material goods.
- To encourage political and social unity
- Political and social unity is not created (just) by self-interest.
- Self-interest can, in many circumstance, lead people to act contrary to the common good
and the rights of other people
- It can lead to
- Cheating on ones income tax
- Fleeing a war-time draft.
- Stealing when no one is looking.
- So a political community that relied on self-interest would have to employ far more
policemen, security guards and accountants (especially in the IRS) than we do today.
- Political and social unity is also undermined by aggression which is expressed, at
times, in the form of political and social conflict, hatred, oppression and crime.
- Eros expressed in political life helps create political and social unity by encouraging
people to be concerned about the good of others.
- Eros is expressed in feelings of solidarity, loyalty and patriotism.
- And it may lead to moral action and law-abidingness.
- Eros can be directed to many levels of the political community.
- Our local community
- Our ethnic affiliation
- Our region
- Our country
- Our fellow-human beings.
- Our fellow rational-creatures (including wookies.)
- The direction of eros towards large political communities requires restraints on:
- Erotic attachments to family members.
- These attachments are of primary importance to young children.
- But, eventually, children must come to:
- Accept wider roles in their polity and society
- Be prepared to act on the principles and goals of the polity and society, even where
these come into conflict with the good of their own family.
- They must fight in a war (or send their child to fight in a war)
- Pay taxes rather than buy things for family members.
- Devote time to common affairs rather than family members.
- Thus erotic attachments for the family must be diminished and replaced by broader, if
weaker erotic attachments.
- Rites of initiation play a role in symbolizing this transition in many political
communities.
- Sexuality.
- As in the case of work, Freud would argue that the demands of the political community
require sexual renunciation.
- Again there are two reasons:
- Time and energy
- Libido, on the pressure-valve model.
- Again, I would argue that this model is not terribly plausible, at least if it is
understood in conjunction with the first of Freuds theories of the instincts.
- For sexual pleasure, narrowly understood, is not to be had in such things as patriotic
songs, and so fort.
- Moral action and law-abidingness are also supported by conscience and the super-ego. See
the notes on Eros and Aggression.
- Sexual restraint and Freuds two theories of the instincts
- The extent and nature of sexual restraint depends upon which of his theories of the
instincts one accepts.
- On the first theory, the sexual drive is, by nature, insistent and powerful.
- Thus, to the restraints of sexual norms, hard work and communal commitments will lead to
sexual frustration on the part of most people.
- Such renunciation will only be possible if people have practice in sexual restraint.
- If we accept Freuds second theory of the instincts, then what is needed is not so
much restraints on an already powerful sexual desires as different outlets for the erotic
desires that may or may not be expressed sexually.
- Of course, if Freud is right to think that, if not restrained, eros will naturally be
expressed in sexuality in young children and in adolescents at the time of puberty.
- Then some restraint on sexuality in child is necessary if they are to easily accept
limited ways of expressing sexuality as adults.
- But it will still be relatively easier for people to accept sexual restraints on the
second theory. For, on this view, sexuality is the first, but not the only or primary way
in which erotic and aggressive desires are expressed.
- Have restraints on sexuality declined in recent years?
- They have declined in some respects. There is broader acceptance of
- Pre-marital sex
- Homosexuality
- Divorce
- Sexual content in artistic works
- Is the emphasis on sexuality in these works, in fact, erotic?
- Quite frequently, sexuality is portrayed as a means of the expression of aggression, not
eros.
- There is less acceptance of
- Sex between teachers and students
- Sex between superiors and inferiors at work
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